So all day long the noise of battle roll’d
Among the mountains by the winter sea;
Until King Arthur’s table, tordo by tordo,
Had fall’n in Lyonnesse about their Lord,
Yes the hunters were out in force this morning so apologies to Tennyson whose poem I have altered slightly.
It really did sound like the battlefields of WWI this morning rather than King Arthur and having watched Downton Abbey last night ( who doesn’t watch it) and saw the scheming servant Thomas putting his hand up out of the trench to get a blighty wound hence the title this morning. Blighty to save you looking it up comes from the Hindi word bilati which means foreign so now you know.
I’m off on Easyjet today as British Airways are full with Maggie Smith look a-likes from a Merchant Ivory film set in Italy. All big sun hats and flowing Laura Ashley with the men folk in linen jackets and white hats. Easyjet seem to carry more Italians heading off to shop till they drop in London.
Over the years I have become quite adept at picking out who I will be sharing a row with as I survey the queue at check in. Normally I look for the weight challenged passengers and select one for one of the seats and then look for the Italian family with two or three unruly screaming children and select them to be placed all around me. I need to see who their friends are ( Italians all travel in huge parties) and then place them at least 20 rows behind. They can then all get up and come and surround my row chatting and occasionally kissing the unruly children when they do something particularly obnoxious like kicking the back of my seat. The cabin crew try manfully to negotiate around my massive group and in doing so forget to serve me my sandwich and drink and I am unable to get out to go to the loo because the weight challenged person has gone into full recline and seemingly died as no amount of polite coughing or prodding seems to stir him.
Once on board I am rarely disappointed. My choices all come true.
It will be nice to have my iPhone back though as in the UK my pay as go £20 seems to last for ever whereas for some reason down here €20 lasts about2 days of normally use. I have yet to figure out why that is but whilst in Italy the iPhone sits in the draw now. I have all of my life saving apps on it ready for London like where is the nearest Caffe Nero, the nearest Tesco etc and a rather niffty one that you swipe the bar code with and check for better pricing elsewhere. It does however seem to alert the security guys as you wander the aisles of John Lewis happily swiping all their bar codes. My key one though is my scopa card game app that allows me to sit on Easyjet with all the bedlam I have described and try to beat the computer at the Italian card game.
I am staying tonight at the Bermondsey Square Hotel which is seemingly terribly trendy and I booked through Luxe City Guides ( unashamed plug for my daughter’s company). It boasts a TV in the room that senses your viewing likes and happily changes the programme to get you what it thinks you want to watch. It is the height of high tech it seems so I will let you know next week how long it takes me to break it.
I have discovered that Bermondsey boasts a pub crawl and so with my son tonight once I have given the coup de grace to the TV and any other high tech stuff in the room we will be embarking on the crawl to test out the various bitter beers.
So I must fly as they say.