Build an Ark, Mike

A voice came to me in the night and said unto me

Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.

And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.

You will have guessed by now that the rain continues unabated down here in Puglia and especially around us.  I don’t normally blog about the weather but this is unusual especially for so early in October. At 3,30 yesterday the rain intensity was 23inches of rain an hour which is real monsoon stuff.

The papers are full of reports of underpasses flooded, basements underwater, roads awash, and fields now just huge lakes. We have had 245mm of rain which is roughly 10inches in real money in a couple of days and we are well on the way to the wettest October on record.

What I do love is these meteorologists who on Saturday were  saying down here that we were desperate for rain  are now saying we have too much and as always it is the wrong type of rain. I haven’t lived here that long and unlike the weather guys certainly not all my life. But a quick check of the records shows that we manage each year to achieve 1,500mm of rain ( about 60 inches) . What you cannot predict is when it will come. However by December 31st we will again clock up the average rain. This year it looks like October will make up for the shortfall. Last year February clocked up enough to allow for a dry autumn . So cries of rain and parched earth are pointless. Sit back and wait.

What really seems to have upset the papers today is and understandably, the lack of coverage on either TV or newspapers all of which are produced up north and carry a huge northern bias. As one paper today said can you imagine if 10 inches fell in Milan in two days. We almost see nothing else on our screens or dominating the paper as we sip our cappuccio. However it happens in Puglia zilch, nada niente, nothing.

So we sit and watch it rain down clocking up millimeter after millimeter and listen to the central heating eating up the gas or of course build an ark as my whisperer said.

Now for those of you who read the scripture at the top you are probably wondering what cubits are in terms of todays measurements. Well the ark as laid down was 132 metres long 23 metres wide and 14 metres high and had three decks. So not a bad size though clearly not Queen Mary 2 material . She is 341 metres long 41 metes wide and 72 metres high.

We sailed back from New York on the QM2 at the end of my time working in the States and she is certainly long. The corridors seem to go on for ever.

corridor QM2

I remember walking along one heading to the lookout bar and met a woman standing by her cabin door looking back down the corridor. ” It’s okay” she said “I’m just waiting for a bus” It seemed looking down the length of the ship quite a sensible thing to be waiting for and my 84 year old mother almost joined the queue.

And finally  nothing to do with Puglia but I find them funny and I hope you do. These arrived in my e mail this morning so switching from boats to planes here they are:

Airline Announcements:
United Flight Attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!

On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have. ”

“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane”

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying our airline.” He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.
She said, “Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?”
“Why, no, Ma’am,” said the pilot. “What is it?”
The little old lady said, “Did we land, or were we shot down?”

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella, WHOA!”

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, “Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that.”

Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo , Texas on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo . Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!”

“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses……except for that gentleman over there.”

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City . The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump, and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix , the attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.”

Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of US Airways.”


I love the little old lady one especially. Anyone been on Ryanair recently. They always seem like controlled crashes rather than landings to me.


About hereinpuglia

Retired to Puglia after some 40 years in the travel industry working for P&O Lines, British Airways, Alamo rent-a-car,Abercrombie&Kent, owner of Quest Tours and Travel and finally with Thomas Cook North America. Married to Geraldine we now have a small house with too much land near the town of Martina Franca in Puglia. Two kids one married and living in Hong Kong and the other single and living in London. No dogs, no cats no animals.
This entry was posted in Bari Airport Connections, Brindisi Airport, Driving in Italy, Expat Italy, Grape Picking in Puglia, Puglia, Puglia Cooking, Puglia Food, Puglia Guide, Puglia Lifestyle, Puglia Living, Puglia Travel Information, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Build an Ark, Mike

  1. Sam Brunetti says:

    Don’t mean to laugh but wasn’t the reason behind the move from merry old England to Puglia to get away from the rainy and gloomy weather? Being a native Pugliese I didn’t know it rained that much, but then again I didn’t know we had much elevation, I though the whole province was flat.

    • hereinpuglia says:

      I moved from Florida rather than England which makes it even more crazy. Mind you it could rain in Florida in the summer and we never had a single hurricane when we lived there.

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